Gratitude for the familiar and miraculous
My first foray into writing a newsletter
I’ve found it difficult to be thankful for much since early 2020, but maybe if I make a list, it will be easier to count my blessings and focus less on the madness taking up so much space in my soul.
My dad died in February 2020, not unexpectedly though we thought we had more time. He had ALS, for which there is no cure. The pandemic started two weeks later, which was unexpected though now it’s easy to see that we should have been more prepared.
No matter what happens after the death of one of the two parents you adore, nothing is ever “normal” again — of that you can be sure, and when the world starts heaping large numbers of terrifying events on top of trauma, it takes a toll.
The last 21 months have been challenging. Sickness, death, remote learning, isolation, financial challenges, social change. It’s enough to push even the strongest among us to the brink.
By nature or nurture or both, I’m good at managing stress and great in an emergency: clear-eyed, confident and decisive. I’ve been mostly ok, though I’ve had moments of struggle and sadness more often than I care to admit.
I submit that with all things considered, this is arguably the most stressful period in human history. I’m no scientist and I have no data to prove my theory — except that when cavemen were trying to trudge through the ice age, they weren’t also worried about the internet connection for their third grader, whose next meal may also have been uncertain.
However, if I sit back and sift through it all, I can think of a few things for which I’m thankful.
A happy marriage. My husband, Joe, is unconditionally supportive of every hair-brained scheme (like this one) and will do almost anything to make my eyes sparkle. He is extraordinarily patient and just rolls with it — whatever it is.
Stability. This also has a lot to do with Joe, but I also give myself credit for being pretty good at life and adulting. I’m not impulsive or hot-headed (unless I’m hangry).
Easy children. My sons are wonderful. They take after their dad and mostly just go with the flow. Neither of them complain about masking, for example. It’s just one of those things that has to be done for the greater good. They’re helpful and smart. Both are excellent students, gifted in their own unique ways.
The Alpine Cowboys. Having the team back at Kokernot Field this summer made things feel like the Before Times. Watching with a cold beer in hand, Twin Peaks in the distance, brought back so many memories of my dad, a baseball fanatic.
Netflix. And all of the other streaming services, and the internet, and the many ways in which it entertains us. I am immensely thankful for the interwebs.
The Vaccines. Modern medical miracles. Other than my family, it is possible there’s nothing I’ve ever been more honestly thankful for in my entire life. We’re within two weeks of having our youngest son fully vaccinated. I cried real tears when I made the appointment.
I know, I know. These kinds of lists are pretty #basic, but humor me. I’m testing the newsletter waters. I’ve missed this kind of writing and I’m uncertain where this will lead, but it’s not going anywhere without subscribers. (It’s free!) If you don’t mind, share this link however it is you connect with the universe. And of course, I’d love constructive feedback.
I hope you can find some gratitude, even if it’s ordinary and familiar. Happy Thanksgiving.